10 Ways To Know If A Man Truly Loves You

I called it quits with a man I once loved after I found out he had sex with a close friend of mine (former). After constantly disrespecting what we had, having sex with my friend was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

How can a man that claims to truly love me hurt me? Was any of this real? Did I miss any subtle cues? Wasn’t I enough?


I gave him my heart, loyalty, effort and my body. I was his listening ear and the shoulders he leaned on for support. Was she even worth it?

Oh God knows how many late nights I had. I picked up the remaining dignity I had and walked away without looking back. I couldn’t believe that he didn’t only break my heart, he wasted my time. The effrontery!

Months would go and dating started to seem difficult. I had anxiety and didn’t trust the opposite sex. Anytime I developed any kind of friendship with a guy, it made me feel sad because I knew it wasn’t going to progress into anything. I’m a little too scared to be in love right now.

A year went and I met a man. I didn’t expect anything from him because I lost hope in the opposite sex. My trust issues was real and I wasn’t about to invest too much in the friendship. He persisted and would always hit me up to hang. I honestly thought he was fun to hangout with and I kept seeing him. Six months after, I realized that I was starting to develop feelings for him. We both knew we liked each other but what he didn’t know was that I had fallen in love with him. I mean why won’t I?

He was courteous, a friend, listener and genuinely cared for what I had to say. He taught me that love wasn’t meant to hurt and because of him, the bars have been raised.

  • Respect is more important than love

Have you ever witnessed a couple (be it strangers on the street or like me, a friend and her boyfriend) arguing and the man gets angry and starts name calling?

If you are dating a man that doesn’t know how to control his anger to the point that he lashes out and verbally abuses you, then their love is questionable. When did love become abusive?

I cannot compromise my respect for your love. You can keep your love, I will keep my respect — Amit Kalantri

In a healthy relationship, respect is more important than love. Because when there is respect, everything will fall in place. It is funny how people think all you need from a relationship is love, but respect is crucial. You can’t love someone you don’t respect.

He not only respects you, he respects what you both have. He knows that this bubble called relationship is extremely fragile and needs to be protected.

Note: When a man truly loves you, other girls are insignificant to him because he is loyal to you. Not only out of respect for you, but for himself and his word.

We can’t help who we fall in love with, but we can decide who we choose to respect. We can’t control love, it’s unconscious, but giving someone respect is in our hands (a conscious decision)

A man loves you when he is respectful in his words, actions, efforts and thoughts.

  • He will say it but it won’t be misused

    Don’t you find it funny how a man can meet you at noon and be in love with you by midnight? How? How can a man misuse such a strong word on a complete stranger? If a man ever tells you he loves you quickly, please be very skeptical. He isn’t in love with you, he probably just wants a smash and would do and say anything to have you drop the panties quicker than a blink of an eye.

    Note: Don’t confuse their determination for real love, it isn’t

    I remember when I told my boyfriend I loved him; I said it first and he didn’t say it back. He didn’t want to say it back because I said it; he wanted to say it because he meant it. I didn’t rush him because I knew that if he really loves me, I’ll be the first to know. His decision made me respect him even more. And when he finally said it, it was worth the wait.

    He also found a way to say “I Love You” without using the actual word; the outcome was “ditto.” He used ‘ditto’ for two different scenarios:

    Scenario 1

    Me: I Love you

    Him: Ditto

    Scenario 2

    Him: Ditto

    Me: I love you too

    • They let their actions speak for them

    If I get a dollar for every time a guy sweet-talked me only to disappoint me with his actions, I’d probably be a part of the world’s top one per cent by now.

    I have seen various women believe words that come out of a man’s mouth, turning a blind eye on his actions. He says he cares for you but his actions states otherwise. He says you can count on him but when you need him, he isn’t there. He says he gives you his word but breaks it every time.

    As women, we need to pay attention to actions and not words.

    A superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions — Confucius

    I would pick a man that lets his actions speak for him than a man that is all talk. If you are dating a man that is all talk, give him away for free.

    If a man truly loves you, he’ll not only tell you, he will show you. He will make you his priority and keep his word. If he says he will be at your place at 8 p.m., expect him at 7:59 p.m.

    P.s he would always compromise for you

    • He claims you. What’s “Let’s see where this is going?”

    I beg of you, if a man tells you ‘Let’s see where this is going’ please run. I can tell you where it is going, nowhere!

    Let’s see where this is going = I don’t want to be committed to you, I’m seeing other people.

    He’ll tell you how he likes how things are between y’all and hopes to keep it that way, but low-key all this man wants is the perks that come with a relationship, he just doesn’t want any obligations.

    Note: No matter how much a man claims to love you, if he makes you perform girlfriend duties without claiming you as his girlfriend, he doesn’t love you.

    In fact if a man truly loves you, there won’t be any mixed signals. He won’t put you in a position where you doubt the way he truly feels and where you stand in his life.

    • They always want to communicate with you (text and calls)

    A man that doesn’t want to talk to you everyday isn’t in love with you. How can he truly love you yet go days without communicating with you? That isn’t love boo. Yes, I understand that sometimes we might want our space but that doesn’t mean non-communication.

    If a man takes days to communicate with you, be it sending/replying messages or giving you a call back, then that’s a red flag and I suggest you approach with caution.

    Note: If he disappears when you both have an argument without being open to communication in order to ameliorate and diffuse the situation in an amicable way, then he isn’t for you

    When a man loves you, he will check in at different hours of the day to make sure you are okay or call to hear your voice because you were on his mind.

    If you go 24 hours without any form of communication from a man that claims to love you, drop him. You are now single and free to mingle!

    • He will treat you like a Queen

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